Monday, May 28, 2007

A New Direction! A New Detection! Bring the Olde Back! It's Bigger than Bags!

Let's write reviews together, you and I. And you as well. And those of you over in the corner. And those guys out back, taking a smoke break. And the kids, too, if we can round them up. All of them. Except Simon. He forgot to take his pills today.

I mentioned to Paco something about this blog last time I saw/seen him, and he mentioned to me something about how he wanted us to review all sorts of stuff on it. Then B.B. King mentioned something about how Pretzel's post on DAT Politics sort of killed us. Damn if B.B. isn't always right. Give that man a golden medallion!

So let's write reviews together, me and you. And bring this blog back to life with music on our minds. Let's invent new ratings scales, that put Pitchfork and the Source to shame. Let's post multiple reviews about the same record, and argue amongst ourselves who is more right, and more upright in the eyes of the LORD, and prettier. Let's be as subjective as possible, and throw Objectivity out the window, along with Reason and Logic and Sobriety. Let's stab each others eyes out with forks, parents be damned! I'll give this album four guerrilla grunts out of five while you empty three clips into it with your Israeli made UZI sub-machine-gun, obliterating it to hell within the limits set out by G-d at the beginning of Energy and Matter. And let that be your rating scale!

Review everything and anything! Bags and bots! Queen Elizabeth and Corn Chips! Pots and pans and best spots for panhandling! I hate Mentos! There! That is a review! Join me! Won't you?



Jeff BBz said...

YES! What an great idea! I give this post 30 stars off of a medallion!

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