Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bots on Skates! The Bag of the Century!

Alright! I give these Robots an A+! Go to my post at Midwest Mindset for further details and vids!

He Takes a little while to get going after the initial start but look at that skatin'! I mean, it's a Robot!

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Recently, I was being lazy as hell. By recently, I mean three minutes ago. The tv is on, but I'm not watching it because I'm trying to figure out how the hell to automatically alphabetize a list in Word, and I heard the joyous joyballs. I Think I Need A New Heart by The Magnetic Fields was pouring forth from my tv. It was a commercial for Cesar fancy dog food. This brought about a great mix of craziness.

-Who uses the MF? Nobody. Nobody I knew of before. Nobody I know of tomorrow. But somebody I know of today. The tasty piece selected is excellent as well. Although I'm not sure any selection off 69 would be a bad choice. Plus, we can't really expect any company to select Punk Love, How Fucking Romantic or Experimental Music Love, can we? Bravo.
-Cesar is obviously and uneqivocally named after Mexican-American Labor Activist Cesar Chavez. Excellent reference, but segways wonderfully into the cons.

-This dog food is really fucking expensive. It's like buying the DL Muse Bag. Completely unnecessary. What a huge waste of resources on dogs. There are certain wastes of resources on dogs that are completely justified and valuable for society (see Matt's entry below). This is not such a waste as it contributes nothing to the overall sweetness of the universe. I guess ultimately that means the good wastes are not really wastes at all, but amazingly generous contributions to the state of the universe. Plus, what an terrible irony that a company named after Cesar Chavez, a man who spent his life working for the oppressed, reinforces oppressive industrialized captialist waste at the expense of the oppressed. Instead of feeding people a $10-meal, let's feed our dogs a $10-meal.

In the end, I think I must vote against the Cesar gourmet food gang. The MF choice may reflect more of an openness to good music in commercials thanks to Honda (Postal Service), M&M's (Iron & Wine), and Target (Badly Drawn Boy), instead of the goodness of Cesar. Chances are there is one cool person in marketing that doesn't really fit in that suggested MF.

Speaking of MF, right now, free ep from Danger Doom on It's mostly remixes of Mouse and the Mask stuff, but it's mother-fuckin FREE. Plus it's a zip file, so it takes less time than you could ever hope for to download. GO.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

And your self and all your selves and all your golden brows and golden browns and golden goals and golden goalies and goaliarchical golden brown-self!

the Lord is alive and well and doing just fine, right here in rivercity, With a capital "F" That rhymes with "Jeff" And that stands for Pool, We've surely got trouble! Jeff Pool Trouble! Right here is Jeff River Pool City, Right Here!


Jeff: This bird your friend?
Rinse: Yes, but its the worst kind of friend.
Jeff: Quite a mess of a bird eh?
Rinse: like you wouldn't even begin to know!
jeff: but my mind contains all your knowledge anyway
Rinse: but your mind is a fruitless void
Jeff:but your mind is my own mind, my mind is your own knowledge of your mind of my mind my minds eye or my miners or memymine memy memtones mercury!

Witnesses say she told craig to "shut up"

Please listen and come here and listen right here right now to this these words this part of this please! please come here! i have news for you and for me and for all of us. dat politics is the one is everything things are everything. dat policitcs is the light is regular light is normal lighting in normal circumstances is special lighting for special occaisions is the "The light" is the one light for one man or woman or man shaped doll or light shaped man-woman doll or man's doll's friendly aquaintance with light or his friends or his small back catalogue of matierals regarding himself, light, or his man woman doll's hair dresser, dat politics!

Please bring your means to an end and purchase or buy and get or download or absorb deep into your heart the heart of all hearts, this kind heart that i bring this cloth heart, terry cloth, tearing fabrics or black dark black blamefilled clothes.

What: Dat Politics (the humans with eyes that are my heart)
What else: Wow Twist (the album that is eyes, eyes in a tuxedo, tuxedos flooding the gates of trouble)
what else: please get it it it or get with it, tit, tits, its tits, its tit mouse tits
also what: Good things are in store, are in stores now, are interested in finding your and your game
What to bring: Your game, your goods, your goodness sakes, your special meaning
when: right now, always, since the beginning, immediately
Who: me, you, everyone we know, miranda july, dean martin, dean martin's hair, dean maritime and the maritime gang

the sound is flowing through you!
the collapse of all buildings is coming!
the collections are here!

10 out of 10! 10 out of 8! 8 out of all 8s! 100 out of 300!

Pamela, You will never review this, which is why we are better, better, better, but this is also why we are the same, the same ol same! Pamela, I will give birth to you, and stake you as my birthright! I will clothe you in righteousness, I will cover you with a blanket of leaves, I will place you in the core of the earth.

Dear Dat Politics,
Buildings are flowing through you! You are more important and stronger than every sound in the world! You are more sound than everything else except the part of everything that is your sound. I am listening harder! I am gaining knowledge! I am right at the ledge! I am alright! We are all alright oh yeah!

Your Friend,
Carter Beauford from The Dave Matthews Band

Dear You Guys,
This small collection of sound of fun (11 tracks of "fun") is necessary! Please enjoy! everything I have ever said to you is a lie in comparison to this! My life is a hoax! My life is not a hoax, it is okay, I am okay, I am alright, I feel very fine!

Your Friend,
Jeff Pool Trouble

You can be crushed for a small fee! You can be crushed by my hands! I am buried deep deep in the ground! I am buried deep in the ground and filled with crushed peppers! I have a crush on pepper! Knox County is going back to eastern time!

You can become a special businessman! You are gaining 10 life points! You may gain 10 pounds! You have a great dexterity! you are great! you can work harder and become more! Look!:


What's dat dizzy zip? My Toshiba is alive!

I don't mind, No I don't mind, I don't mind at all. I don't mind at all

I don't mind.

No, I don't mind

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Gimme Bays

In a new bastard post, Craperman said that you should subscribe to piece-of-hell fashion week daily's magazine because they are giving away a YSL Muse bag. When I read that, I realized what a damn shame of a giveaway that was and that there are plenty of much better giveaways available to us. Here are a few samples (speaking of samples, Dumbela also couldn't contain her appreciation for free perfume samples at stores. If she can spend $1,000 on an S&M underwear bag, why can't she shell out a few hundred to smell obnoxious and give me a headache when I meet her? (which I hope never happens))...

-If you live in Japan and buy Pepsi Nex, you can win a Pepsi Nex Robot. Of course Pepsi parentage is a huge notch against it, but who doesn't want a free robot? Nobody I'd like to meet.

-If you go to the August 26th St. Paul Saints (minor league baseball) game, they are giving away buddhas. Baseball teams have giveaways all the time, but buddhas easily go down as the best I've ever heard of, and perhaps the best ever. In fact the St. Paul Saints have a whole host of amazing things. For instance, they had a New Year's celebration on May 15...this year they are giving away balls of yarn and a little boat (partially as tribute to the Vikings' boatcapade), in addition to the buddhas...on July 22 they are honoring the smallest man to ever play pro baseball...on July 29th they are honoring pro players who had good mustaches...these are the best. I can't believe how side-tracked I got. I can't believe I can't attend any of these events. I can't believe my moms.

-This is more to the point and it may be the number one giveaway of the year, because you can still get in on the action for 0.5 months. Gnarls Barkley is giving away a bag full of sweet goodies including tickets to view. The biggest problem is that I couldn't find any pictures of the bag to be given away. At the same time, it could be a grocery store plastic bag and it would rule the hell out of Pekerman's recommended giveaway. Plus, there are ten runner-ups who also get a bag. It doesn't have as much sweet stuff, but it's still a bag. A Gnarles Barkley Bag. Sign up at

If you have any better giveaways, let me know. I didn't devote too much time to these finds. Plus it's hard as hell to find good giveaways that aren't for completely predictable gear.

A final note, here's Pamela on a blog that rivals her own for shittiness,

Check it out for deeper annoyance.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Real People vs. Not-Really People

Professor Martin would call this a "non-realite" in the subjuncitve form of a french verb. What the hell am I talking about? Kristopher Dukes. This co-hert of one Pamela Pekerman is not real, or she is a "non-realite." I want you all to lay your bag-lovin' eyes on her "website." I wanted to talk about this Kristopher Dukes and her not being a real person. I wanted to talk about how I want us to make another site called Cassandra Pukes. I wanted to talk about how I dont believe her latest post about how this outfit she is wearing is from 3rd grade.

I wanted to talk about how lying isn't nice to do. So, Kristopher Dukes, stop lying about your clothing from 3rd grade and leave your mother and Easter Sunday out of this.

In other bag-trends news, I want to break this bracelet that Kristopher wants to make-out with. And finally, I wanted to talk about Kristopher stoping all this talk of her eye make-up. Kristopher, you'll go blind someday if you don't cut that out.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


i do apologize for the false pricing of the white, coral clutch posted yesterday.. it's $255 dollars, not $330.

this, however, does not change anything.

You have to be kidding me.

Pamela is up to her wily "just thinkin out loud" lame-ass reviews again. Bagerica called her out yesterday on the 9 million dollar melted gummy clutch, and today I will also speak on a clutch that PP has most recently named "sophisticated". I have recently named it "bondage underwear from Berlin". Look at this trash. The designer Janna Kruse is a total ass. Just look at her website, sick ass logo with bitmappy edges, stupid ass poses and bags, and prices as high as Jeff BBz cholesterol used to be. (Sorry if that was private.) I mean, if your gonna charge more than 300 dollars for a handbag, )be it clutch, crotch, snot, snoopy, purse or fanny pack)
at least have your logo be designed by someone other than a fat seal calf with a laptop and marker. Low res is lame res.

Anyways, this bag is totally a pair of sick dominatrix panties (that word rules). Check out the way that rich broad is holding it where underwear goes. Anyway, Pamela says that she "craves the bag", like she craves an ice pack after my size 12 boot kicks her right in her ass. Here's what she says about this modern marvel of used black undies.

"...But, it’s the Nina clutch that I truly crave. The architectural juxtaposition of rough embossed croco with smooth lambskin, creates a sophisticated look. Gold rivets add an edge that is softened by the lambskin rouging. It’s this type of balance that is often missing in the evening bag genre."

PP is actually condoning killing of crocodiles and lambs, to make this barf bag. (Hey we should review barfbags, too.) Crododiles, I believe, are endangered and lambs, I believe are symbols of peace and are much more useful alive then dead. Maaaaaaaa!

Basically, this bag makes me want to throw up in my mouth. But instead of swallowing it, spitting it into a ziploc bag and mailing it to Pamela Pekerman, 666 ILoveBeingStupidAsHell Lane, Dumb Moron, AR 12847. And charging her 300 dollars for my amazing puke bag. She'd have to do it.

It's no doubt that Pamela, is indeed, wrong as hell. And going there by killing sheep. Maybe not?

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

can we say, "impractical?"

I like a good clutch as much as anyone, but let's face it, this one is a bust.

I have formulated some solid reasons why this Isharya clutch is impratical.

1) The Isharya clutch is white silk with red beads in the formation of coral. I can not argue, it's appealing to the eye; the contrast of stark white and vivid red is close to making the heart skip a beat, but honestly, think about our wardrobe choices with this clutch. Shall I say "limited"? Who wants a clutch that only jives with a this season white linen dress? Don't get me wrong, white linen is posh, but if i'm going to have a favorite clutch, it's going to have to go with my favorite grey hoodie ((which looks just as sexy)).

2) Price, price, price. DO i have to pay nearly $330 for one clutch to be a bagista? I think not. I understand that it's silk, i understand that it's chic design is elegant.. but $330?? This bagaholic is a working girl who tries to make every dollar stretch. I can find luxury cheaper, thank you.

3) It's not versatile enough for an on-the-go girl. Circumstances and situations arise that we can't control.. and if I'm carrying a clutch, it's got to be just as ready as me for the switchback that can be my life. I'd look quite silly if, while at an outside event, i got paged to work and i still had this clutch for the emergency at hand. I need something, nay! we all need something, that can turn from classy to casual in an instant. This is not that clutch!

Maybe you seasoned baggies disagree with my negative critique of this clutch, but I assure you, they were well thought out and, might i add, very true.

As a side note check out the jcrew coral clutch.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Animal Alphabet Bags

Ken & Trisha have just released a new line of bags they're calling the Animal Alphabet Totes. Each bag features a name, along with depictions of animals whose names begin with the same letter. I thought I'd post a picture of the Nicholas bag, as Nanny Goats and Night Owls are two of my favorite animals.

Let's not beat around the bush here: what Ken & Trisha are doing is very courageous and very ambitious. The aesthetic of the Animal Alphabet Bag is intensely challenging, and, to make matters worse, we can't count on Ken & Trisha to help us make sense of it:

"Your children will be delighted to see and learn about animals who's names start with the same letters as theirs."

Ken & Trisha would have us believe that the Animal Alphabet bag was intended for children. Yeah right. Make no mistake, bag friends, within weeks this bag will be all over the bag world and no bagista worth his/her salt will be without one.

But what is it that makes this bag so successful?

"We have a lot of fun making and designing these High Quality Art Tote Bags. We hope you will find the perfect tote bag for expressing your unique personality." (italics mine)

The key here is personalization. Each individual can have their own unique tote with corresponding animals, regardless of what letter your name starts with (unless it starts with U, V, X, Y, or Z, they don't have those). The Animal Alphabet bag is about allowing the buyer to define his/her own essence by means of bag. This is something that contemporary designers are exceedingly reluctant to do, and it is why the Animal Alphabet bag is so important.

Also, Ken & Trisha have another site dedicated to "items with a traditional music or old-time theme."

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Highway Fruit Bags

Listen. This guy's got it right. You know? Carry bags and bags of fruit by way of a hot car on a mid-western highway... Don't mind if I do. Also, wonder if he's part of the IMF?

the High Priestess says

This past summer, one of my best friends bought a beautiful interpretation of the Tarot Card's High Priestess painted on wood for me on my 22nd birthday. No one around my house or the people I am or have been associated with in the past 4 or so years of my life knew where the high priestess came from... I, however, did.

While in the sixth grade, I started obsessing over things of supernatural beauty.. Tarot Reading was one of those mysteries. Once even, I had a gypsy read my cards, thus my future. I don't remember it now, but that's not the point. The point lays in the mystery, if you will, of how gypsies and others of the sort get their Tarot Cards from one place to another without bringing harm upon these powerful future-telling cards. Because, let's face it... someone sitting down across the table to get their future and present conflicts read via tarot would think it tacky if the teller would rip them out of a card box. Right? I mean, I would, especially now that i found

Tarot totes were designed with, of course, tarot cards in mind.. however, they are convenientally sized for any deck of cards, cell phones, wands, iPods, metaphysical books, bird seed for hungry birds, healing crystals or any number of things. And honestly, who wouldn't want to carry one of these bags. Reasonably priced and of attractive, mystical fabric.. they can bring awe to not only your tarot reading abilities but how you transport them. My absolute favorite tarot tote Fairy Ring, but they are so versatile that even cat lovers can carry their tarot with Cat Moods.

The rope, pull tight top is also a nice feature for ease of use. If one is in a hurry to get the iPod, crystals or Tarot cards out, he/she doesn't have to fiddle with zippers or buttons.

I recommend Tarot Totes for anyone because of their beauty, rope top feature and convenience. These totes are definately for the High Priestess in us all.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

A New Trend in Bags: Sacks

Presented here is an edited, expanded and revised version of the paper "The Inherit Prejudice of the Bags/Sacks Dichotomy: A Socio-Linguistic Study”, which was first read at the ninth annual meeting of the Southern Society of Cognitive Linguists. The author has kindly provided this edition for decimation on Bag-Trends, and we are pleased to present this article, which we agree addresses timely issues concerning not only the field of bag theory, but the entire bag world. [the editors of Bag-Trends]

In recent years it has come to my attention that there is an important dichotomy that is threatening to divide the continental United States into warring factions. I believe this is an appropriate forum to launch a campaign to raise awareness of this vital issue. What concerns me is the culture war that looms on the horizon pertaining to the name used to pick out partially-enclosed, flexible containers for the storage and transportation of goods. While some nouns fitting portions of this description may include baskets, boxes, and pockets, the specific terms I wish to deal with today are bags and sacks.

As one moves west across United States from the east, many mannerisms, terrains, choice in foot-wear, and language utilization noticeably change. This has been a constant source of strife over the past four hundred years of this countries development. Due to the fact of population dispersal there have been many perspectives taken on the spread of culture and its impact on those who bring the culture and those to which new ideas, trends and bad habits are proselytized. It is a fact of human nature that no person wishes to admit to be on the receiving end of good news; therefore response-biases are created to cope with such a fact. (Overmeyer 529) It is from these response-biases that feelings of malevolence and wrath are observed to emerge.

Whether this malice is identified by the subject in its earlier stages is the subject of intense debate. (See Murry Gardner’s "The Emergence of Hatred from Response-Bias Variables" and Jockhom & Stevens "Hatred is Knowledge: a Response to Murry Gardner" in Midwestern Logio-Psychial Mindset vols. XXVII and XXVIII, respectively.) However, all cognitive scientists agree that in the final stages the stimulus results in over-anxiety, loss of bladder control and inability to produce a piercing whistle. If the immediate reactions were not detrimental enough, it is obvious that these final effects are enough to ostracize one from any-sized community (ostrich or otherwise).

In order to relieve ones mind of these grotesque final results, often the situation is alleviated by focusing attention to the perceived “factors” and “perpetrators”. (I have taken these terms, along with much of this preliminary research from Weldnor Grymn’s classic Euro-Prussian, book-length survey, Gegen├╝berliegende Seiten eines einseitigen Spektrums.) In the current situation under examination, the term “sack” is identified as the factor, while the immediate perpetrators are identified as loafer-wearing, eastern blue-state yuppies. This identifies many underlying, pre-conceived notions that although functioning as important factors, will have to be set aside to allow for the narrowing of this current study.

Even based upon these factors, it is still not entirely clear why the bag/sack dichotomy is such a volatile issue in America today. However, I believe that with a further examination into the etymological and linguistic roots of these terms it becomes quite clear why this issue has been so controversial throughout history. The word “sack”, as a noun, may be traced back to the ancient Hebrew “saq”, which named bags, sacks, and sackcloth. (Oxford English Dictionary) This term was later adopted into Latin, with the term being narrowed to the second use only. “Bag”, on the other hand, originated much later (as a noun) as the Middle English “bagge”, which may be a form of the Old Norse “baggi”, meaning “bag, pack or bundle”. (Ibid.)

These etymological roots, along with a punitive understanding of cultural seismology will lead one to the clear conclusion that the Jewish roots of “sack” are one of the primary reasons for its being shunned. Throughout history, anti-Semitic forces have attempted to eradicate all traces of the Jewish peoples and their culture. One, for example was, William Shakespeare, who in all his plays and poetry never uses “sack” once, although he frequently utilizes “bag”. (Terione, Word Frequency in Shakespeare) In conjunction with its Hebraic roots, throughout history there have been movements, many of a successful nature, to establish “vulgar” connotations of the word “sack”. An example comes from the classical Roman period, where use of “sack” frequently referred “to the punishment of drowning in a sack… the punishment (awarded in ancient Rome to a parricide) of being sewn in a sack and drowned.” (OED)

Other historical uses of the word “sack” in a vulgar sense include the use (by the Norse, interestingly enough) of “sack” to refer to the act of routing or pillaging. In more modern uses “sack” has come to mean “to dismiss from employment or office”, which finds its roots in British culture. This meaning has also been transferred to mean “to discard, turn off (a lover)” and therefore “to get the sack” is “to receive one's dismissal”. Also, to “buy a cat in the sack” is to buy an article without first inspecting it, which is derived from the French “acheter chat en sac”, and “se couvrir d'un sac mouill├ę” or “to cover oneself with a wet sack” which means to make vain excuses. In the United States, “to hold the sack” is to “be saddled with an unwelcome responsibility”. “Sack” has not even escaped vulgar use in the realm of sports. In baseball, the “sack” references a base, which is trod upon and may even be legally stolen. In American football, a “sack” is “an act or occasion of tackling a quarter-back behind the scrimmage line before he can make a pass”. (Ibid.)

“Bag”, on the other hand, aside from its most common use to denote “a receptacle made of some flexible material closed in on all sides except at the top”, carries such positive meanings as “a preoccupation, mode of behavior or experience; a distinctive style or category” or the phrase “in the bag” which means to have something under control or as a part of situations one is familiar or comfortable with. This great discrepancy in denotations and connotations is certainly the work of those who wish to keep Jewish culture from flourishing in any part of the world. Therefore, it is of vital import that the term “sack” be assimilated into all cultures and languages, for it is an important cultural alternative to the over-used “bag”.

This concept was proposed to the World Council on Linguistic Affairs at their annual conference in Brussels on 21 May, 1962 by the Zambian-born Jewish scholar Etmund Ereli. (Minutes of the WCLA, Saroon Te-Swe, secretary) Although most in attendance agreed that some action was necessary, the idea was lost in the political clashes of the sixties. In America in the mid-eighties, however, with nothing else to concern themselves, a group rose up and declared war on the word “bag”. This group was led by WCLA member and former professor of New Testament Hermeneutics at Gould College, John Paffrey. Paffrey’s goal was the acceptance of “sack” into the American dialect. His revolution spread throughout the east like wildfire, thanks widely in part to articles and essays published in the New York Times Book Review, Atlantic Monthly and the Yale Review. While the revolution of “sack” spread throughout the east coast, it was very slow making its way inland.

As of writing, “sack” seems to have made it as far as Columbus, Ohio in the past ten intervening years. Linguistic prognosticators have it reaching the Indiana line before 2010, and, if a suitable movement might be primed on the west coast, America should be in the “sack” by within the next twenty years. These statistics are rough figures, and will certainly vary according to the amount of backlash that is met as “sack” continues to make its move across the county. It is for this reason in particular that I believe the above figures are overly optimistic.

As “sack” has made its move west, it has encountered more and more opposition, which has slowed its progress considerably as it attempts to progress. In my calculations, for every one hundred miles a new concept or idea must pass and break-down a response-bias, the time between introduction and acceptance increases by .12%. Calculated exponentially, particularly if the prospect of a two front attack is ruled out, the amount of time this change will take is staggering. Thus, it is important, if this task is to be succeeded, to not only have individuals who are committed now, but who are committed to the promotion of “sack” into the far future as well.

In conclusion, based upon the results of response-bias, and the negative connotations typically connected with “sack”, it may be safely predicted the acceptance of “sack” into a holistic American vocabulary will face a long, uncertain future. However, this also means that it will provide an excellent study in overcoming response-bias and movement towards a broader, more culturally-rich language. In the meanwhile, however, besides passively examining the effects of this cultural shift, let us also become involved in the change. There is much work to be done, and much profit to be gained.

Baggin' & Waggin'

Dogs, the lost and forgotten bag consumer... or not?

Bags have seemingly swallowed small dogs in Hollywood with superstars and models and old ladies toting around their rat-shaped hounds as a bag-trend all its own. Bags have engulfed tiny shaky ugly dogs for too damn long. Dogs hate that shit. They shit in the bags because the bags aren't nearly appropriate for dogs, they are appropriate for shit, thus the dogs shit in them. Although some would say these dogs are too small for walking and need clothes or bags or clothes bag hats, they are wrong. Dogs take the bus and the train. Jeff BBz showed me some dogs who could jump 100 feet high. Dogs can handle themselves.

All this is why dogs have raised a fist full of bags and are all supporting the new backpacks and saddlebags by WOLFPACKS®.
I four rugged awesome outdoor ass kickin' styles, these are truly "doggie bags." Just check out Iggy and Shae at the top of the post. Iggy even knows how to compliment a Banzai™ style bag with some hip trendy beads. Dogs have found their bag calling, and since they don't give a shit about Paris Hilton they will bite her with the fangs of fashion.

(Cody, owned by Karen Faddis, looks like he really enjoys his new Saddle Bag pack.
Karen says she likes the small pack size for hikes and short outings. Cody, has also worn it to the nursing home they visit, to carry small presents for patients and treats.
"The size works well for my purposes, and the dog enjoys wearing it.") These bags not only provide dogs with face melting styles, but also can be used for goodwill missions. And one.

Sorry my first bag review is so wordy, but dogs have never had a voice like Wolfpacks before.
To sum up here is a picture of Aspen with his packs and an actually comment from the dog. Seriously.

Dear Linda,

My name is Aspen. You really made my first backpacking experience dog gone special. You helped me size a perfect fitting pack and it is certain to last me many more trips. I CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT TIME !! I just wanted to send you my picture (my owners Kevin and Jennifer took it) of me getting prepared to tackle Pagosa Peak. I am from Kansas and did I ever enjoy the cool weather of the mountains. I got to carry all kinds of really cool stuff in my pack too.


Screw you, Hollywood.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Japanese Snack Sugar Cat

Hey bag friends and tag bronds!

Bag veterans are in for a real treat today. I just found an
Angel Cat Snack tote for $29.95! Yeah!

If you're new to B-T or have otherwise been wasting your life not knowing about the best in bags, here's a direct quote from the manufactuer:

The is a very unique and famous Japanese snack sugar cat tote bag. It is made of high quality nylon canvas material, with superior illustration. Fully lined with inner zip pocket. A must have bag for Japanese snack lovers!"

So much has already been said about this bag that there isn't really much I can add. I would, however, like to take a moment to respond to some criticisms that have been raised in recent years by certain marginal, ill-informed bag thinkers (Pamela Pekerman, for instance). The grossly oversimplified version is that these critics attempt find fault with the cat snacks elements of the bag, while ignoring the inseparable themes of cat naps and Japanese snacks. In the Angel Cat bag, the combination of these very different and seemingly divergent elements transcends the limitations from which each of the individual components suffer, culminating in this remarkable work of bag that we have come to know so imtimately at B-T.

I welcome any comments detailing the impact this classic bag has had on you in particular, or on bag culture in general.

Speaking of Drinks

A positive review is in order. In an attempt to fulfill our promise to possibly review absolutely anything, this is an endorsement of the new commercials for New Belgium Beers. If you are not familiar with New Belgium, go here

In short, this family takes environmentalism and making great beer very seriously. The company is growing quickly because their beer is so damn good. As a result, they have been advertising on the television recently. These are some of the best ads I have ever seen in my life. Check them out in quicktime (that they use quicktime instead of damn windows viewer or other bastard options is a small testament to their greatness) here

You will notice as you watch them that the music is the soothing sounds of Devendra Banhart. Once again, a testament to their greatness. I know that many live in Chicago, and they have recently branched out to Chicago. So buy it. Support the little guys. Support good beer. Support Devendra Banhart. Support environmentalism. Support turtles. Support you.

Also, they make a bag (bringing in the bag theme). The bag is almost perfect. It is very librarian-esque, which is way better than Jackie-O-esque. Then, just when you thought it was all, "no talking in the library" it comes from old advertising banners. This is the key. NO TWO BAGS ARE THE SAME. You never know what the hell is going to be on it. It's like the grab bag box they used to advertise in the Boy's Life magazines from Boy Scouts. Highly recommended at only $12 (unlike the ridiculous recommendations Pamela makes) this bag is perfect for summer picnics and trips to the beach.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Some Bags Have Beads

I was just thinking about bags and bag-trends, and maybe bracelets, too. (But never ocelots.) When it occurred to me that I should do some image searches for bags and Jackie O, and I came up with this little beaded number, that runs for $52.

And then I got to thinking. Could I see Jackie O carrying this bag? Well, no. So are all Jackie O bags created equal? No again, considering this bag is $1295-$52 less than the YSL Muse bag, which is beside the point really, when you think of it, really long and hard. Or strong and dard. Like the makers of the dictionary.

Which brings me to my next point. This bag looks alot like a canteen.

Also, beads are okay. But aren't they a little too 1615 for today's Manhattan socialite?

And finally, I'm real glad we were able to get Manhattan for a bunch of beads. Just enough beads for those Indians to make us these awesome bags. With some left over for sweet bracelets.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Two Pamela Whiffs

In a recent review of the YSL Muse Bag, Pamela Peckerman suggested that this bag is Jackie-O-esque. What? There are two problems with this. 1) This bag is ugly as hell. It might make a good barfbag, chunky style, hell yes. Maybe Jackie-O would have used this bag for carrying around her dog's shit, but not for everyday life. Or perhaps Pamela is referring to this Jackie...

If so, I take back my criticism.
2) This bag looks like somebody threw some gold on a shitty tire from the driveway of our old neighbors in Huntington. Therefore, Jackie-O would never have used it.

Also, since this is one of the first posts, it is appropriate for me to point out an all-encompassing problem with Pamela's comments. At the end of each post, she writes "Always Bag-a-licious." This is certainly not the case. This is obviously a reference to the R&B band Blackalicious. The problem is that neither member of Blackalicious has given permission to Pamela for this obvious reference. Pamela is not representing Blackalicious appropriately by endorsing such terrible bags.

To make sure this is not only criticism, here is an alternative bag to Pamela's terrible recommendation.

This is Ms. Monster Bag. The perfect bag for keeping your shit as well as scaring off kids. It's perfect and I highly recommend it. In addition, it is crocheted, so you can make it yourself. Therefore, it is worth far more than the damn YSL Muse Bag. Enjoy

Friday, April 28, 2006

Initial Thoughts

Hey you guys, I was thinking about the lack of good bag reviewal sites on the net and wanted to make a positive contribution to the world of bag marketing, bag sales, bag go-karts hats, bag lighting, bag bags, hands that look like bags, sandbags, and of course bag trends. And bag-danas.

Now, I know what you are thinking, "Doesn't Pamela Pekerman of have a perfectly good bag trends review blog?"

No, She in fact does not. Just cause someone can get a blog and say any sicko thing that they damn well please, doesn't mean that they are worth their bag salt.

And thus this site is born. Our promise to you:

1. Review the latest in bags and bag trends.
2. Friendly and/or pleasant discussion of the latest in bag culture and bag theory.
3. Rude and unforgiving refutation of the latest in Pamela Pekerman's bag trends reviews and comments.
4. Interesting and thought provoking pictures and portraits of bags and people holding or being near bags and/or trends.
5. Possibly reviews or discussions of other trends such as bracelets, smiles, pats on the back, or banks.

If that's the sort of thing you want or need, then here we are. If you prefer Pamela Dumberman then suit your self, dillweed. Or maybe I'll suit you for you, myself.