Thursday, May 11, 2006

You have to be kidding me.



Pamela is up to her wily "just thinkin out loud" lame-ass reviews again. Bagerica called her out yesterday on the 9 million dollar melted gummy clutch, and today I will also speak on a clutch that PP has most recently named "sophisticated". I have recently named it "bondage underwear from Berlin". Look at this trash. The designer Janna Kruse is a total ass. Just look at her website, sick ass logo with bitmappy edges, stupid ass poses and bags, and prices as high as Jeff BBz cholesterol used to be. (Sorry if that was private.) I mean, if your gonna charge more than 300 dollars for a handbag, )be it clutch, crotch, snot, snoopy, purse or fanny pack)
at least have your logo be designed by someone other than a fat seal calf with a laptop and marker. Low res is lame res.

Anyways, this bag is totally a pair of sick dominatrix panties (that word rules). Check out the way that rich broad is holding it where underwear goes. Anyway, Pamela says that she "craves the bag", like she craves an ice pack after my size 12 boot kicks her right in her ass. Here's what she says about this modern marvel of used black undies.

"...But, it’s the Nina clutch that I truly crave. The architectural juxtaposition of rough embossed croco with smooth lambskin, creates a sophisticated look. Gold rivets add an edge that is softened by the lambskin rouging. It’s this type of balance that is often missing in the evening bag genre."

PP is actually condoning killing of crocodiles and lambs, to make this barf bag. (Hey we should review barfbags, too.) Crododiles, I believe, are endangered and lambs, I believe are symbols of peace and are much more useful alive then dead. Maaaaaaaa!

Basically, this bag makes me want to throw up in my mouth. But instead of swallowing it, spitting it into a ziploc bag and mailing it to Pamela Pekerman, 666 ILoveBeingStupidAsHell Lane, Dumb Moron, AR 12847. And charging her 300 dollars for my amazing puke bag. She'd have to do it.

It's no doubt that Pamela, is indeed, wrong as hell. And going there by killing sheep. Maybe not?

6 comments:

Matthew said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jonny said...

what's the difference between sheep and lambs? because i think i might be a killer too because i ate lamb this 1,2,3...26 times.

i don't want to go to hell.

signed,

sleepless on pratt blvd

Liza said...

I would like to review barf bags. and grab sacks

pamelacruise said...

i dont know that i believe matty really wrote this....there is violence and matt is a lamb. a tall lamb, you know? and you hate pamela and janna so bad! also, your fat seal with marker comment warrants a poem!

Matthew said...

Jonny, lambs are just fine sheep are wrong to kill.

LudaChristian said...

dude, i laughed out loud like 4.5 times at that post. you're one funny sunnuvabitch.